Thursday, February 02, 2006

Dear Mr. Kerry...

Earlier this week, we saw a heroic effort made by our own heroic... well, hero to stop the nomination of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court, using nothing but his wits, his cell phone, and perhaps the most delightfully-named Senate procedure, the filibuster.

That effort failed. Go ahead and ask me if I still love him. In fact, as sucky as Monday turned out to be for women, people of color, the working class, the middle class, children, men, people not of color, dogs, snowmen, and turtles, I have never been more proud of the Junior Senator from Massachusetts. Or, for that matter, his senior colleague. At the very least, the ice-and-fire, 1-2 punch of their January 30 floor remarks was some of the best television I've seen in a long time. And if I live to be a hundred, I still don't think I'll ever forget how hard they fought for us that day.

Alito may be a done deal, but as anybody who's actually engaged in enough human contact to have learned something about it knows, when somebody sticks his neck out for you, you say "thank you."

Etiquette dictates that you do so in black or dark blue ink, on plain white or ecru paper, folded once, and that you do so within two weeks of receiving the gift or favor. How hard is that?

To best relay my gratitude to Senators Kennedy and Kerry, I even treated myself to some new paper. Only I'm going to pretend that my stationer has bad lighting, because, for this effort, I purchased some Crane and Co. notecards in pale pink instead of ecru. Oops! It was actually pretty difficult to resist something in a bolder shade, or seasonal cards with charming seasonal Valentine motifs, but I don't really want to carry on TOO much in the vein of, you know, Dear Mr. Kerry, I am writing this to you, and I hope that you will read it 'cause it's true: My heart beats like a hammer, and I stutter and I stammer every time I see you talk on C-SPAN 2...

But that's just me.

All this to say that if you as a citizen opposed the Alito nomination, please, please, PLEASE write to thank the Senators who voted against the motion to invoke cloture on the nomination of Samuel Alito, or at least the two who worked hardest to make a filibuster happen:

Edward M. Kennedy
(202) 224-4543
Web Form:

John F. Kerry
(202) 224-2742
Web Form:

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Axis of EVOO

This morning, John Kerry sat down with the perennially annoying Katie Couric to give his rebuttal to last night's State of the Union address.

After checking several blogs, both liberal and conservative, I learned that somebody got schooled. What nobody can seem to agree on is whether Kerry schooled Couric, or Couric schooled Kerry. I know what my opinion is, but that has more to do with my bias toward John Kerry as a paragon of manliness and character, and my bias against Katie Couric as a hack and a harpy, than with what really happened. (If you ask me, I think Couric was, in fact, the schooled party. But nobody did ask me, so go ahead and judge for yourself.)

What it did settle, once and for all, was that I can now, with complete conviction, argue that Katie Couric is more painful to watch than Rachael Ray of the Food Network.

I was undecided on this matter for a while. But after watching KC make an actual, honest-to-goodness Pouty Face at Kerry, when he asserted that the media hasn't been hard enough on the current administration, I started wondering: Would Rachael Ray, irritatingly exuberant celebrity chef, get along better with the Senator than The Today Show's petulant girl reporter?

The answer is an unqualified YES. I can just imagine her inviting him on her show to help whip up a DELICIOUS 30-minute version of the official Senate Bean Soup, so grateful to finally have somebody to respond to her incessant chatter. And what color is YOUR spoonula, Senator?

The Senator would then reply that he thought he had a spoonula at home, but that it was Teresa's, and probably red in color, thus unleashing a deluge of ketchup questions from Ms. Ray, and about which the Senator would be an awfully good sport, if non-committal. He might even retaliate with a comment on RR's dependence on foreign EVOO.

(I said I loved him, okay? I never said I loved him because he wasn't a huge nerd.)

I don't know what protocol dictates when it comes to US Senators wearing aprons on TV. My guess is that Rachael would make him wear one anyway, and I am not going to claim that I wouldn't enjoy that. I'm not going to claim that Rachael wouldn't, either.

But most importantly, RR would be unable to resist asking the good Senator about certain other high-profile government officials, and the Senator would grin and lavish glowing praise on each and every one - sometimes sincerely, and sometimes not. And Rachael, in turn, would rhapsodize over the AWESOMENESS of Alton Brown and the fact that Paula Deen ROCKS. And then she would make a deliciously fatal mistake:

"But the time I was on Katie Couric's show..."

And she would freeze, for just a second, and so would John Kerry. And then somebody would say, "Yeah..." and then somebody else would say "Yeah..." and almost immediately, the subject would change. Possibly to cooking for the USO.

But nobody would ever forget the Night that John Kerry and Rachael Ray Threw Down the Gauntlet and Totally Dissed Katie Couric without Really Saying a Word.

I know I never will.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

What is it about John Kerry?: Poll

What is it about the lean, eloquent senator that gets people so riled up? Tight-lipped neocon and disgruntled liberal blogger alike, there are no halfway opinions about Kerry. What makes them maddest? Let's figure this out democratically!

Monday, January 30, 2006

Top Ten Reasons the Kerry Filibuster of the Alito Nomination is as Hot as the Sun*

*whether it succeeds or not!

10. Pissed off John Kerry = gorgeous John Kerry!

9. Who else in Washington has the power to make Bill Frist, the Bush GOP spin machine, and the mainstream media administration lapdogs gnash their teeth in such petulant frustration?

8. Kerry's performance in his Senate floor speech on Friday proves that Mr. Smith is STILL in Washington.

7. Multitasking leading a filibuster with attendance among the American contingent at the World Economic Conference in Davos swathes this particular filibuster in a glamourous air of International Intrigue.

5. For those of us who didn't get to see him run his boat up onshore and charge the enemy, this is the next best thing.

4. John Kerry is ready for his closeup! See the video at

3. He took up this fight when NO ONE ELSE would. What's hotter than that?

2. A fired up liberal base is tying up the phone lines of Senators who have been very, very naughty. (But if they want anything extra, they'd better vote against

1. This is what he meant when he said he would never stop fighting for us.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

What is the future? (political poetry from the Senate Floor)

I know it is an uphill battle.
I have heard many of my colleagues.
I hear the arguments:
Reserve your gunpowder for the future.

What is the future
if it changes so dramatically at this moment in time?
What happens to those people who count on us to stand up and protect them
now, not later, not at some future time?

This is the choice for the Court now.
I reject those notions that there ought to somehow be some political calculus about the future.
This impact is going to be now.
This choice is now.

-- Senator John Kerry, Democrat of Massachusetts, speaking in the Senate on why the Alito nomination must be filibustered and why Judge Alito must not be confirmed to the Supreme Court, January 27, 2006